Avoiding post-nuptial depression

A wedding is often the happiest day of a person’s life – so much so that the marriage that follows the big day can feel like a tremendous let down.   In recent years, as weddings have become bigger and grander affairs than ever before, the condition known as post-nuptial depression has become more and more common.

What is post-nuptial depression?

Post-nuptial depression refers to a condition in which an individual (almost always the bride) involved in a wedding experiences depression and malaise after the ceremony is over and life with that person’s spouse enters into the “married” phase.  Post-nuptial depression can last for an extended period of time and is likely to place a great deal of stress on the marriage – even to the point where separation or divorce begins to feel like the only option and relationship counseling becomes necessary.

Signs and symptoms of post-nuptial depression

  • Depression – As the name of the condition suggests, post-nuptial depression causes individual to feel lifeless, beat-down emotionally, and with a negative outlook on life.  The irony of the condition is that this depression arrives at a time when young people are starting a new, exciting chapter in their lives.
  • Exhaustion – After maintaining the frantic pace necessary to put together a big wedding, many people simply can’t get their energy level back on track in the months following the event, and consequently suffer from extreme exhaustion.
  • Illness – Planning and executing a large wedding can produce a tremendous amount of adrenalin.  When that adrenalin is gone, it can be replaced by colds and nagging viral infections.

Tips for avoiding post-nuptial depression

The following represent important tips for anyone who is planning a wedding, and wants to avoid post-nuptial depression following the ceremony.

  • Delegate.  The individual should not try to take every single aspect of the wedding on their shoulders.  Hire a wedding planner, or enlist the help of family and friends.   Delegating responsibility lowers the risk of being overcome by post-nuptial depression.
  • Don’t go overboard.  One of the easiest ways to keep from being disappointed in the grandiosity of a wedding is to maintain a level head while planning it.  Keep it simple, and remember, it is the expression of love between husband and wife that guests will remember, not the crystal swan centerpieces.
  • Talk to friends and family.  Individuals who are experiencing high levels of stress before their wedding should not keep all their emotions locked inside.  Bottling up one’s emotions is exactly the kind of behavior that leads to post-nuptial depression.  Instead, open up and share those concerns and fears with others. 
  • Don’t become obsessed with perfection.  Perhaps the most common trait of individuals who suffer from post-nuptial depression is an obsession with perfection.    To avoid this problem, the individual needs to come to terms with the realization that the wedding day may contain “hiccups” which are beyond anyone’s control.  The sooner an individual lets go of the idea that “one problem will ruin the day” the healthier they will feel.

For individuals who are suffering from post-nuptial depression, Moonview Sanctuary can help.  Located in the heart of Santa Monica, California, Moonview is staffed by counselors who understand exactly what it feels like to experience depression at a time when a person should be enjoying life to the fullest.  Contact Moonview Sanctuary today for more information about their Overcoming Personal Crisis programs.




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